Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
I read this article by Jendella Benson on Media Diversified a couple of days ago and it spoke to me. Jendella took me back to how I felt a few months ago when my beautiful boy was about 4 months old. I wanted to be ‘beautiful again’ but I was torn. Because I felt like other than the odd ‘oh cute baby’ comment I was expected to ‘snapback’ to being the woman I was before my son. But I couldn’t and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Becoming a mother is such a seismic shift I wanted people to SEE it.
Here are my thoughts:
I am different,
I went through a significant physical trauma.
I am different,
And was irrevocably changed forever.
I am different,
I can barely remember who I had been before.
Acknowledge me.
Despite my gallstones, heartburn and Achilles Tendinopathy,
Acknowledge me.
Despite my filling, root canal and streaky belly,
Acknowledge me.
I’ve brought forth life,
I’ve nurtured life,
I’ve never been so tired in all my life.
There is no snapback,
You are different,
You were changed forever.
Your heart’s never the same,
Your body’s never the same,
Your life’s never the same,
And it’s beautiful but–
Acknowledge it.
My son has somehow become my calling, my reason to be better, the thing that gives clarity to my life. I love him so very much but having him has changed me. May God help me grow to know, love and appreciate the new me.
Faith & Beauty 